Coaches Need Coaching, too!
“A good coach can change a game. A great coach can change a life.”
On my run commute home from work last Saturday, I ran past a youth baseball game near the Esplanade. Little kids were everywhere: running randomly around bases, picking dandelions in the outfield, whining to their moms that they were hungry, bored, tired, hot, or a little bit of everything. I was giggling to myself about the chaos when I heard a loud whistle and a loud, but friendly yell—one of the coaches was telling the players to start lining up, and while I expected this to be like herding cats, the kids actually listened. I was not only impressed, but also starting thinking back to the many coaches I’ve had in my life, and how a good coach has the power to really make an impact on athletes’ lives.
Starting as a kid, I was always involved in youth sports. I dabbled in a little bit of everything: figure skating, softball, basketball, soccer, tennis, eventually field hockey, track and field… you name it, I’ve tried it. And when I think back on all my experiences with my youth sports career, nothing really stood out to me. I was an active kid, but I didn’t truly fall in love with any of the sports I played. Even in high school, I mostly just did sports for the social aspect of it all. And I am now realizing, as an adult, that the main reason I didn’t fall in love with sports was because I never had anyone really, truly pushing me to be great.
When I first started my fledgling running career in college, hiring a running coach seemed unheard of. I thought coaches were only for elite athletes: people who were training to win races and qualify for the Olympics. It wasn’t until I set my eyes on my dream of running a sub-three hour marathon that I looked into run coaching, and again, I felt like I had to “earn” the privilege of using a running coach because I was working towards a goal that many would classify as being “elite.”
But why was this the mindset? Why did I think I wasn’t qualified enough for a run coach? Maybe this carried over from my days of youth sports. Because I wasn’t necessarily the most talented athlete on the field or on the track, I felt like I was a little overlooked by coaches. And that was totally fine by me. I wasn’t necessarily looking to be pushed, so why did I expect that same buy in from coaches? But now I was in fact looking to be pushed, and I had no idea where to start. I had done the online, generic running programs and they didn’t give me the structure and the accountability I needed to truly step it up. In addition to everything feeling a bit “one-size-fits-all,” if I didn’t have a real, live human being checking in with me and holding me accountable, my own motivation could only take me so far before I knew I’d probably start to cut corners and slack off a little.
So with some recommendations from very fast and very qualified running friends around Boston, I hired my first running coach in the spring of 2016 with my eyes on a sub-three hour marathon in Chicago that October. And let me tell you… it was a huge wakeup call. Even while following online plans, I usually cherry-picked workouts and cut mileage when it came to the warmups and the cooldowns. The first thing that landed in my inbox after my introductory call with my coach was a month-by-month breakdown of every workout, long run, and total mileage for the week, and also included space for me to report my splits and how I felt during each run. This was something completely foreign to me at the time, but I was here for it. And let me tell you, that accountability worked like magic for me. Having someone invested in my running career and not only supporting me on my long runs, but also to scold me when I skipped out on a workout or a long run, were the reality checks I needed. And guess what? I PR-ed that October and broke three hours, running 2:58:08. I was living proof that working with a run coach was the real deal.
However, and I say this with the utmost love and respect to my coach, there were many aspects of this training plan that did not work for me. The mileage was incredibly high (sometimes pushing almost 100 miles a week), and there was literally no flexibility when it came to the weekly plans. Now, keep in mind, I was thirty at this point, and still loved to drink and go out with friends, and trying to keep a social calendar while also running such ridiculous mileage each week sometimes felt like an impossible feat. When I reached out with questions or requests for last minute adjustments to the schedule, sometimes my coach was not accessible. I’m not a needy person, so I’m not saying I was emailing him every day begging him to skip a long run, but the concrete plans just didn’t fly sometimes. The lack of ability to adjust and maintain a true work/life balance just didn’t feel like it was part of the plan. By the end of the training block, I was faster than I had ever been, but I literally hated running. It had become a chore for me. I was married to my mileage and my splits and my mental health was at an all-time low.
So yes, the coaching was effective, but at what cost? It was after this training block that I learned what worked for me as a runner working with a professional and what didn’t. I got my USATF run coaching certification, and started making running plans for friends and family that—guess what—still maintained a work/life balance. As a coach, even to this day, I pride myself on being accessible to clients and making sure my plans are flexible and easily adjusted for life—because, as I always say to my runners, none of us are professionals. This is a sidequest and it’s also supposed to be fun!
But that doesn’t mean I’m not still learning everyday what makes a good coach. In addition to the other issues I had with my 2016 training block, I never felt a personal connection to my coach. I wanted a deeper relationship that would not only inspire me to complete the plans he sent like a star student, but I wanted to feel connected in a way that would want me to work to make him proud of me. I’m not saying I wanted constant praise and words of affirmation to carry me through every workout (run coaches are not therapists, after all), but a little personal feedback would have been nice.
Enter my next coach. In 2023, I was feeling a little bored and stuck in my workouts, and wanted to try something new. I have been coaching HIIT-style classes for over a decade, and taking class every day wasn’t lighting the same fire for me that it used to. Not to mention, I was creeping up in age, and my days of sprinting fast multiple classes a day were a thing of the past. I was already phasing out of my era of running marathons for time, and I wanted to track progress in a different way: I wanted to get really strong. And I also knew I didn’t know a damn thing about moving a barbell, tracking my nutrition, or what it would take to follow a plan to see serious gains in the gym.
After joining a crossfit-style gym at the end of my street, I quickly learned that I had a lot of work to do—and needed to start by putting my ego to the side and working on my form first. I was a dumbbell girlie, and my 37-year-old body at the time had literally never moved a barbell, with the exception of some random squats at various gym visits in my lifetime—but nothing consistent. I immediately reached out to the owner, and asked him if he would do 1:1 strength training with me. And by immediately, I meant that I was very shy and hesitant to ask. I was starting to feel those same waves of self-doubt that I felt when I was considering a run coach.
Why would little old me ask a coach who had literally taken athletes to the Crossfit Games to train me? But guess what? I swallowed my nervousness and pride and did it—and to my shock, he agreed. We started working together on basic moves and eventually were training together for an hour every day. He also asked me about my nutrition, and when I admitted that all I had eaten in the two hours before our session was two croissants, he sent me to his partner, the other co-owner of the gym, who ended up doing two rounds of nutrition coaching with me.
While this may all seem like a lot, this is what it takes when you want to learn something new. Instead of turning to the internet or social media for advice, I asked real people, who are experts in their field, to train me, to educate me, and to hold me accountable. And that is exactly what happened. Not only did I trust their programming and their methods, I began to see results immediately, and learned to trust the process. And I still work with the same coaches. As my goals shift to more casual running and bigger strength goals, I have my coaches send me programming every day or work with me on a specific skill at the gym (i.e. bar muscle ups) and more than that, I feel that bond with them that inspires me to work harder to make them proud.
I know what it feels like to have self-doubt and imposter syndrome, as both a runner and a lifter. I know what it feels like to be lost in the weeds of information on the internet—and trust me, there is just so much bullsh*t out there! But you don’t have to be an elite athlete to need a coach. Remember—all athletes start somewhere, and no goals are ever achieved without some guidance and a plan that makes sense and actually works. So if you’re looking for someone to guide you, here is your sign to reach out. Find someone you actually like and trust. Find someone you feel that bond with that makes you want to work to make them proud. Find someone who inspires you but also believes in you. And, most importantly, find someone who has really been in the trenches, and who has maybe even struggled to find the right coach for them at some point. I always say, working with a young twenty-something coach who just started running and has fast legs and natural ability and zero life experience won’t do anything for you. Find someone who may have started from the proverbial bottom and worked their way up in strength and speed and who understands what it takes to go from couch (or close to it) to 5k, or to go from a five hour marathon to a four hour marathon, or who went from barely squatting at parallel to squatting almost two times their body weight. As they say—it takes one to know one. So find the one that knows the power of good coaching. It works wonders.
Xo
Coach Kelly
PS — speaking of coaching, here are some additional resources for you!
Interested in run coaching with me? Fill out the intake form below to get started: https://kjwcrunclub.com/coaching
Interested in run coaching and strength training? Check out the KJWC Run Club x Big Boy Club program launch: https://evanarbour.substack.com/p/74dcc125-5c28-474c-ad0a-82f0bcdd8c93
Interested in strength and nutrition coaching and are local to Boston? Check out Monument Fitness: https://monumentfitness.com/