Comparison: The Thief of (Running) Joy
I received an email early this morning from one of my running clients with a message that really stuck with me:
“This is so tough but I now know that I’m tougher & however long it takes, it takes. The time on the clock DOES NOT DIMINISH THE EFFORT!!!!”
In a world of social media, highlight reels, running influencers, and $250 race shoes, it is so refreshing to hear my runners say they are proud of themselves for the effort they put in, not about the pace on their watch.
Before the world of Strava and influencers
When I first entered the world of distance running, my pace per mile was truly the last thing on my mind. It was 2007, Strava wouldn’t be developed for another two years, the world “influencer” wasn’t in anyone’s vocabulary, and the only running plan I prescribed to was: wake up and run for 10 miles and try not to puke up the late night options from the college dining hall the night before. I was running in shoes with minimal support, baggy t-shirts, and barely a thought crossed my mind about other people’s paces I saw running around campus (few and far between, might I add).
It wasn’t until about 10-15 marathons in (!!) when I begin to really take my training more seriously. Running was becoming a bit more mainstream, I invested in my first Garmin watch, and found some running buddies to pace with and keep me company on runs. However, it was never about the actual human company that really pushed me to test my pace and my limits: it was the INTERNET.
I truly have a love/hate relationship with the world of running on the internet. In the early years of running influencing on the internet, I found community and I found guidance. With the launch of running apps like Strava and RunKeeper, I could keep track of my own runs and paces as well as connect with other runners. I could copy runners’ styles and see what all the cool runners were wearing for sunglasses and what overpriced running shoes were making them look fast. The love comes from the long-distance community the internet fosters. Need to know a race review about an upcoming marathon? Search the name of the race and reviews and you’ll have all the answers you need. Want to know the pace you need to hold to run a four-hour marathon? Boom - right there. Des Linden won the Boston Marathon wearing what sneakers? Google, click, buy.
However, the hate comes from the comparison and the self-doubt the internet brings. Fast forward to 2025, the world of Tik-Tok, influencers running marathons with camera crews, people posting their Strava splits (but only posting the watch time excluding pauses, not the total running time - we know your tricks ;)) And the main reason: comparison. By only posting highlight reels, influencers (and the gen pop too) are inadvertently creating a toxic culture that leads the average runner to think, “I’m not running as fast or as far as XX, therefore, I am less of a runner than XX.”
chasing likes, Losing Joy
Running and constantly comparing yourself to others will only lead to disappointment. In 2015, I was connected with my first (and only!) running coach because I was seeing a lot of runners posting about breaking the three-hour marathon barrier and I really wanted to test my limits. I trained hard, followed the plan to a T, posted every single run I did and every single split, called my long runs at a 7:30 pace “easy” (read: there is literally NOTHING easy about running 22 miles at a 7:30 pace. I was dying). I never ever posted the negatives. I never posted how much I hated running at that time because it was feeling like a chore, not the pastime I had always loved. I hated that I was running for the internet, not for myself. I was telling myself I was a failure if I wasn’t hitting Instagram-worthy splits. I worked my ass off, I hit my PR goal (2:58:08, Chicago Marathon 2016), but I still wasn’t satisfied. I was inundated with runners who not only broke the three-hour barrier on the internet, but now my suggested feed was all about runners who were qualifying for the Olympic Trials - so I set my goals on that. I fired my coach and started taking advice from running influencers. I was wondering why I didn’t feel as good as they did on my own runs, why I didn’t look as cool, did my PR not make me as legit of a runner?
And guess what happened. I failed at my goal races. Time and time again, for years. I never beat my PR. I struggled, bonked, sat in self-loathing and wrote essays for captions on Instagram about why my races sucked. I would deactivate social media for a day and then immediately pick it back up and start wanting to be like another fast runner. It was a toxic spiral that I couldn’t shake.
Forward is a pace
So what changed? I got certified as a run coach. I started reading REAL BOOKS about running, studying what LEGIT, SUCCESSFUL coaches were doing. I stopped looking at running accounts, unless they were a reputable source. I started working with runners who weren’t trying to run the fastest or the furthest - ones that wanted to run their first marathon. Their first MILE. People who wanted to track their own progress and feel good about themselves.
And something changed in me, too. I started running at a party pace, and found slowing down and incorporating other strength work that felt good to me and my body brought joy back. I didn’t care about being passed in races or on long runs. I stopped looking at Strava unless I was checking in on my running clients. I set new goals for myself - annual mileage goals, ultramarathon goals. I told myself, “You don’t have to be the fastest to love running the most,” and then eventually, the mantra I tell myself and others I coach every day, “forward is a pace.”
At the end of the day, a 20-minute mile and a four-minute mile cover the same distance. One person’s sub three-hour PR is another person’s first marathon completed. One person’s first marathon completed is another person’s first five minutes running without stopping. And guess what? This sport is hard on everyone. Don’t let anyone’s highlight reels or “Come run ten miles with me!!” On Tik-Tok’s videos fool you. Comparison will suck the life and the joy out of your running. Set goals that make sense for YOU, enjoy the process, and celebrate yourself every second of the way. And post the sweaty selfies on Instagram if you’d like; but make sure at the end of the day, you’re doing it for you.
Xo